The Pitch

I want my story to be published. So, here's my pitch.

I was diagnosed with a super-rare autoimmune disorder in 2001, the same year that the War to Start All Wars began.

With delirium, dissociation from a "secondary" illness, and a penchant for being impolite, I wrote as I remember. I would like to include imaginative wanderings (a playlet) on how my "ass" began to take over my body (and in a fight of paranoid fancy, the universe.) I called it "Ass Disease" or the "Please, Do Not Touch Me" disease when it first started as "The Itchies." Itching is a form of pain. I repeat. Itching is a form of pain. It is the simplest form and most misunderstood. I was misdiagnosed dozens of times. I was given the eyebrow. I was told by doctors to "Look it up on the internet." I was given the words of Dr. Kokayi, "I consider myself good at diagnosis, but...." when he sent me to New York Methodist Hospital. It was here that I was tortured for three days by refusing pain treatment. The treatment I take is valium. I must take up to 40mg per day. Valium was discovered by Dr. Leo Stenbeck. It saved my life. Valium is a Schdule A drug. I am not a political pundit. I am writing a memoir. I am a very fiesty person. Maybe I should call it, "Let the Drug War Begin."

Mozass Takes Over The Universe the play